LL Gets CCC to Open Up About Chocolate Crisis Condition,
Fails to Obtain Dr. Hottie’s Number
This month’s Customer Spotlight is on the Denver-based chocolate purveyor Chocolate Crisis Center (CCC). Lightning Labels conducted the following interview with Will M. Bellish, Top Flack of the CCC’s Public Relations Department.
What is the “Chocolate Crisis Condition”?
The condition manifests itself as a tendency for sufferers to employ chocolate as a way of coping with intense nonspecific cravings, unfocused mental meanderings, bizarre interactions with coworkers and family, fantasies of torturing superiors, and the stress of expensive and pointless psychotherapy sessions. Chocolate has been shown to have immediate positive effects on the Prefrontal Choco-Cortex, Cacao Nibulum, Left Cerebral Chocosphere, Reptilian Craving Complex and other areas of the brain related to ecstatic enjoyment and immediate gratification. Research continues at the Center to find new treatments for sufferers.
What types of treatments does the CCC offer its patients?
Dr. Ernst Angst, the discoverer of the condition and founder of the Chocolate Crisis Center, learned that he could achieve the same or better results for most of his patients by administering quality Belgian chocolate at the beginning of therapy sessions, then ending the session immediately so everyone had another 55 minutes to do something constructive. He has since developed a full line of chocolate bars, truffles, caramels, fruits and nuts that can achieve the same results in under a minute. Needless to say, session work has dropped off considerably. Continue reading “Chocolate Crisis Center Relieves Suffering Caused by Widespread Condition” »